I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
