I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
