Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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