that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
