I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
