We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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