Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
