she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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