is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
