dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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