Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
