I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I need moral support for this bender
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
