is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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