She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
