Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
