everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
