I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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