Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
