I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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