Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
