i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
