i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
