You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
