oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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