My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
