Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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