their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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