Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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