if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
