i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
