I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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