OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
