PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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