god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
