I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
