so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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