Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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