I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
