We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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