I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
