i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
