It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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