some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
