Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
