Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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