careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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