Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
