Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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