Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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