i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
