Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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