I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
